As liberating as this day has been, I read the letter again for – I don’t know how many times I have read it, but I read it again with new eyes. It’s still raw. The letter is authentic. The man I loved still exists somewhere. Where? I have no idea. If I knew where, or how to reach this man…I would go to him and again try to love him back.
I am gaining my strength quickly now. I am no longer in fear. In fear of losing him, for he has lost me. For the first time, I looked at him and I saw what he has become. No more than a common thug, with a white bandana tied around his skull, as skull tattoos cover his body. Ironic. Like the walking dead. He says he has everything he ever wanted, yet he has nothing. He is nothing. He believes in nothing. He could have been, and was something, a long time ago. Now it is time for me to let go. My children are ready to take me back, and I am getting healthier. I am working, I am spiritually present, I am becoming my authentic self. I am ready.